23/07

2am
I guess... results were ok..? But lower than expected but I should be happy I even scraped a pass. I guess?

Jealousy is really getting the better of me. It's originally my fault things are the way it is now, and I can't help but wonder what would happen if I didn't do what I did, or even fall for you in the first place.

Sometimes what lies at the end of a rainbow is not a pot of gold, not a treasure chest. There might not even be anything there. Or worse, it might be a bottomless pit that engulfs you and envelope you in darkness for eternity. Trapped forever in despair.

When you think that things can't get any worse, I'm sure life will have a way of saying " oh no you don't,  the worse is yet to be" and just fuck you up so badly just when you think you have reached the lowest point ever.

Really pissed off at xxx. Not sure whether he's doing it on purpose or whatnot but whatever. Be that way if you want. (Finding people hypocritical and stuff but who am I to judge. I'm just as much a hypocrite than anyone else is. )

Mood has been bad these few days in class and can't seem to respond well to jokes. And feel so angst during lessons when I know I'm helpless and cannot do anything at all to change the way things are.

Shall be aiming for at least 4Bs for promos. Can't keep thinking that its ok to get such mediocre grades anymore. Gotta get my game up and show them what I've got! Mugging in progress,  slowly but surely. I would love to be a closet mugger but I'm so fat I can't fit into the closet probably...

still can't get my mind off you. And what sucks even more is that I probably don't matter to you, even the slightest bit. Maybe not even a thousandth of what you mean to me. And it really sucks.