Mandatory post since coming to 2015
2014:
It was a great year. I met many different people and made many friends, and fell in love(infatuation more so I guess ).
It has been a year of constant disappointments. JC life caught me off guard, and I realised that I never was ready for JC. But that's just life. It never waits for you at strikes you the hardest when you least expect it.
Running for council was really the first big step to changing my lepak kind of life in school, but I guess thats where things started going downhill. I became more conscious of the people, and it is never a good thing to feel everything so deeply. But I guess council was never the thing for me anyway. I didn't really have a thing for working in groups and the slack shit like me could never handle council work + studies at the same time. I'm barely surviving and I bet I would have retained if I had any big commitments.
Last SAP trip:
It was fun. Or rather, could have been fun. Spent >half of the trip wallowing in self-pity and over-thinking and being jealous. So fucking retarded right? I've become easily paranoid and just emos like shit for nothing.
My mind is a mess. I began to try and avoid you in the middle of the trip ( although I was really happy that night when you came over ) but I just can't seem to do so. Perhaps if I put in a little less effort, you would have put in more? Idk. I get so confused, and try to avert my eyes whenever I see you around with them. I was determined to 后会无期，and start afresh. But I am but a weak person. My heart speaks louder than my mind, and I find myself crawling back to you time and again.
"You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, shut your ears to the things you don't want to hear, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."
“ 我没有说谎。是爱情说谎。它带你来，骗我说渴望的有可能、有希望。”
“ 人生已经如此的艰难，有些事情就不要拆穿 ”
And my heart breaks a little, whenever I see that slip of paper in my wallet.
