每个人都有做梦的权利，但是梦醒之后终究必须回到现实

Me

This is me all the time I think. hahahahaha what a loser

https://www.facebook.com/spriteapp/videos/1516113588681598/


我们每个人其实和他一样
我们会戴面具、戴盔甲
用一些方法让自己变得强大起来
甚至是逃避一些对自己不利的东西

如果我们每个人都真实一点的话，我想我不会这么复杂。
戴着一副"微笑"面具的人的真心话。

Pile of shit to another

Deja Vu never seems to be good.

爱一个人没爱到难道就会怎么样

原来，不了解的人一直是我。
爱上了一个陌生人。

Everyone is telling me they're going to die soon but somehow i feel like im the one thats already been long dead

Sigh someone pls tell meeeeeeee

What are you supposed to do, if the person who makes u feel special and needed is the same person who makes you feel like shit??

25/4

And I just hope that one day, you'll be able to find someone who can make you feel otherwise.

I'm sad that it will not be me, but I'm sorry to say that I am not as strong as people might make me out to be.

Kill the assumptions. Stop speculating

Confused

So these few weeks I've been trying to avoid(?) contact with her? Actually not really intentional but yeah but like I'm kinda preparing to live a normal life away from her? Because I know it'll only be a matter of time before we grow apart., ever since the day she rejected me. It has gone on for too long, and I know I should grow out of it sooner(the better) or later. But then... I can't help it(Hence it has continued for 10months ++ alrd??). But I always think I'm bothering her, and we're always running out of things to talk about..

And it turns out that shes trying to get over someone.. but is it me? or am I over thinking?? Overthinking has brought me to be hopeful and disappointed at the same time. Many times. And I just hope for her to be happy. But I don't know whether she feels the same way? I need an answer.................

doubts

In the end,  just what am I to you?

Depressing end

The end to the year of the horse. Somehow you are becoming colder?? Maybe its something I've done, maybe I'm just a nuisance.

“You can ask the universe for all the signs you want, but ultimately, we see what we want to see when we’re ready to see it.”

2015

Mandatory post since coming to 2015

2014:
It was a great year. I met many different people and made many friends, and fell in love(infatuation more so I guess ).

It has been a year of constant disappointments. JC life caught me off guard, and I realised that I never was ready for JC. But that's just life. It never waits for you at strikes you the hardest when you least expect it.

Running for council was really the first big step to changing my lepak kind of life in school, but I guess thats where things started going downhill. I became more conscious of the people, and it is never a good thing to feel everything so deeply. But I guess council was never the thing for me anyway. I didn't really have a thing for working in groups and the slack shit like me could never handle council work + studies at the same time. I'm barely surviving and I bet I would have retained if I had any big commitments.

Last SAP trip:
It was fun. Or rather, could have been fun. Spent >half of the trip wallowing in self-pity and over-thinking and being jealous. So fucking retarded right? I've become easily paranoid and just emos like shit for nothing.

My mind is a mess. I began to try and avoid you in the middle of the trip ( although I was really happy that night when you came over ) but I just can't seem to do so. Perhaps if I put in a little less effort, you would have put in more? Idk. I get so confused, and try to avert my eyes whenever I see you around with them. I was determined to 后会无期，and start afresh. But I am but a weak person. My heart speaks louder than my mind, and I find myself crawling back to you time and again.

"You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, shut your ears to the things you don't want to hear, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."

“ 我没有说谎。是爱情说谎。它带你来，骗我说渴望的有可能、有希望。”
“ 人生已经如此的艰难，有些事情就不要拆穿 ”

And my heart breaks a little, whenever I see that slip of paper in my wallet.