Been a while since I wanted to set up a blog, just to post and rant about all my daily (sad and negative stuffs) on a platform ( because I didn't want to burden anyone with my own problems )
The start of it: Failing council elections
As much as I try to cheer other people up, and said that it didn't matter, I came to the realisation that, hey maybe council just wasn't meant to be for losers like me to even try in the first place. You should be glad you even got to try and struggle and reach for a small glimmer of chance in the first place. What more should you expect? Thinking back, I don't know which nerve in my brain went haywire, that drove me to even step out of the comfort zone that I have been comfortably staying inside for the past 4 years. Although it was a bittersweet experience for campaigning ( although it was tending to bitter because my group wasn't really the most united one there is), it reminded me of how bitter failure can be, and that things which don't usually go my way, won't go my way ultimately. At least I would think 10 times before even moving 1mm out of my comfort zone again.
I guess its a bit hard to face those councillors for now, but I don't wanna jeopardize my relationships with others just because of something that wasn't meant to be. Still, I'll find it hard to face them. And I get that they don't feel exactly too good since not every candidate in their group or class got in.
Well, I guess I did my best at answering the questions, and held true to my own beliefs till the end, although I didn't vote for myself eventually. It was depressing at the start since the two candidates beside me had 21982347 letters and notes of encouragement, and I didn't get any. But yeah, turned out the class was passing around the papers and I was really happy to receive it :DD ( Despite the n number of cat drawings I see in the letter)
At the same time, I also feel happy for those who really deserved the place, and for those who I thought didn't but still got, I hope they can up their game and prove to the people they are worth their votes.
Sorry for those who really supported me all the way, and thanks boo and b for eating ice cream with me :) For the first time in my life, ice-cream was actually a blissfully sweet medicine.
Sorry A, I guess I just wanted to find someone to talk shit about together, so that I will feel less disappointed. Turns out you were so much stronger than me, so I had to direct everything to this post.
To those who failed, I guess there are more avenues for you to display your leadership skills and talents, so jiayous ( note to self as well ).
Well at the end of the day, I was just an ugly duckling and to even think about change for the better, would be nothing but a short-lived dream, so I'm kinda glad I woke up from my daydream sooner.
Actually I have a feeling that there are much more to say/rant about, but I can't really say it out cos I don't know what these things are. Really mixed feelings now but my eyes are forcing me to go to bed. Should really focus on studies now that I have awakened from this nightmare which has taken on the false front of a sweet dream, and be more appreciative of my friends around me. Depends on how I feel tomorrow, I might have to put on a facade ( which I don't really like/bother to do so) so that my friends will stop worrying about me.
“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”
― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper
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